On November 2nd 2015, I crossed something off my bucket list.
November 2nd will forever be known as the day I farted in yoga class.
Without warning, my body decided to just let one rip and it wasn't the silent type. Just picture everyone face down, stretching their arms out front. My shoulders were hurting so I decided to lay on my back. At some point during this change of position it happened. My butt was pretty much aligned with the girl to the left of me’s face and I leaned to the right to turn over. I basically farted in her face. And no I’m not exaggerating, I farted in her face. It was a relaxation class. Really quiet, fake candle light and whale music playing. After it happened, I just laid down. It came out mid lay down and it actually startled me. I thought, “was that me?” It was like crickets in that sweaty room and then I heard a snicker. As I laid there on my back, looking up at the ceiling, praying that my fart didn’t stink up the sweaty room, I couldn’t help but smile.
I was the girl that farted at yoga. That’s me now, that’s what they call me.
“Hey farty! How’s it going?” “Got anymore farts for us tonight?”
We were probably only 15 minutes into an hour long class when Fart Fest 2016 took place. I went through the rest of the class as if nothing happened, hoping they’d soon all forget. And hey, it’s dark in there! Only the girl beside me, you know the one who’s face I farted in? She’s the only one who really knows it was me. I really couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at myself. Seriously, who does that? Who farts at yoga? I’ve been doing yoga many years and I’ve never heard anyone fart before! I didn't have a stomach ache or anything. It was just one of those times. Bend over and bam! That happens right? RIGHT?
After laughing at myself for the following 45 minutes while trying to focus my breath, I some how got the courage to apologize to the lady beside me. (You know the one, I farted in her face.) As we were wiping down our mats after class, I leaned over (hoping another fart would not come out hahaha) and said, “ummm, I’m sorry for farting in your face. That’s never happened before.” She turned around to me with the biggest smile on her face and said, “don’t worry, it happens to all of us!”
But does it really? I was quick to stereotype her. Blonde, spunky, super fit in her matching Lululemon outfit and I thought there’s no way she’s farted in a yoga class! Me: wearing a 7 year old workout shirt from Superstore, looking like a sweaty mess, farting at yoga? That kind of thing would only happen to people like me.
People like me? What the hell does that even mean? Why are we so quick to stereotype, make excuses and take blame? I farted because I shop at Superstore? That is literally what my brain came to the conclusion of why I farted in a yoga class. And that’s just nuts! An older version of myself would have grabbed her stuff immediately to run out the door and never come back again, even though she’s signed up for the hefty monthly package! The old me would have thrown up at the thought of acknowledging my fart by apologizing to my neighbour! So the new me stepped up and remembered that I had just spend the last 45 minutes of class laughing to myself. The new me doesn’t care, it was just a fart! And the lady beside me was right, it does happen to everyone. Everyone will fart in a yoga class. Eventually it will happen to you, yes you, I promise.
It’s been 47 days since that stinky night and I still laugh about it. In fact everyone laughs about my yoga fart-a-thon. Example, my 30th Birthday card from my parents:
Farting at yoga taught me a few things: stop judging myself and others, to not take myself so seriously, and that I'm just human, things happen! I've even been back to the studio since that fateful day! No one called me fart face or whispered that the farting girl was there. Everyone has forgotten but me. Trying not to fart in a yoga class after you HAVE farted in a yoga class is a little stressful, but yoga is about letting it all go right?
Jessica, The Yoga Farter.