Almost thirty.


Just the three of us :)

Just the three of us :)

I am 29.

I am in a committed long-term relationship.

We have no kids.

But we have a dog.
 

When I write that I am 29, I actually want to say that I’ll be 30 in five days. FIVE DAYS PEOPLE! It’s a weird place to be. Almost 30 and no kids. I guess I’m at that point where I think I should feel like an adult. Do you ever really FEEL like an adult? Is there a specific moment in your life that you can remember thinking, ‘damn, I’m a grown-up now?' Last year we bought a brand new, top of the line washer & dryer set. It was exciting! We laughed and said, “This is so grown up of us.” It’s funny to think that buying a washing machine made me feel more adult than I did when purchasing a home. At the age of 29, the next obvious step (for me) in being a ‘grown up’ feels like getting married and having babies. And it doesn’t help that everyone around me is doing this. We tend to use that moment in our lives to really solidify being grown up, being an adult, having accomplished something. Why is getting married more of an accomplishment than any other milestone in my life? Why is there so much pressure to do so? And why do I feel so left out that I’m 30 and not married, no kids, no white picket fence, no minivan?
 

(Disclaimer: This is NOT going to turn into a post about a 29 year old woman feeling sorry for herself because everyone around her is getting married and having babies.)

 

But it’s true. EVERYONE is doing the above and I’m feeling this more then ever. I’m really trying to put myself (and my business) out there. I am networking, testing new waters, STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE and meeting new people. Meeting new people comes with learning new life stories…“I have three boys, do you have any kids?” Or my favourite, the straightforward: “how many kids do you have?” Insert eye roll emoji here. I usually smile and say I have a dog. Sometimes I even show them photos of him, he is really cute though! 

 
Dante

Dante

 

I’m relatively new to this whole female/girl boss/scary as heck/entrepreneur world and sometimes I don’t fit in. I don’t struggle with temper-tantrums at the grocery store or finally getting work started after bedtime. I don’t know what #mom-life really means and there is no #i-am-a-girl-boss-in-a-long-term-committed-relationship. So where do I fit?

My news-feeds are often full of shout-outs to moms up late working, burning that midnight oil, and kudos to those moms (REALLY) because I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that when it’s my time. But dare I say…where’s my shout-out? Where’s my #i-slept-in-because-i-dont-have-kids-and-start-work-when-ever-i-want-to? I know there are plenty of female entrepreneurs out there without children who know what I’m talking about. It’s a weird place we’re in. This grey area that never gets mentioned and it has become really apparent to me as I’m nearing 30. Thirty with no kids, no wedding planned, no ring. Just me and him and the pooch working towards our future which, is hopefully a soccer team of kids and a wood panelled minivan. And I think that’s okay. I didn’t meet my soul mate until I was 26, way later then the little girl in me had planned. Sometimes I wish we had met sooner or that we could fast forward and be a family but then I think of all the things I would miss. 

In reality I am truly thankful for this time in my life. A time when I was so lost but able to find my way. When I took a (huge) leap of faith and started a business because I had no reason not to. A time when all the people around me were so friggen supportive that failure was never even an option. A time when it was just me and my boyfriend; living in a condo we own, with a dog we’re raising. Who knows what the future holds. Maybe we’ll get married, have a bunch of kids and I’ll close down my business. Or maybe I’ll paint dressers at 11pm after the kids go to bed and I’ll use #mom-life often. Maybe we won’t be able to have children, or maybe we’ll adopt. But whatever the future brings, I will always look back at this time when I was a young (because 30 is young!), passionate, inspiring female entrepreneur reaching for the stars.

Much Love,
Jessica

 

*professional photos by Owl and Lily Photography